Permission to Like Me But Not My Book
A fellow debut writer friend recently pointed out something that had never occurred to me. We doubtless have friends and relatives who are nearly as nervous as we are about the fact we’ve launched our first books. Not because they fear we won’t sell well (worrying about that is our job), but because they fear they will read our book, not like it and then . . .well . . . what will they say?
I thought it was important to say “quit your worrying!” First of all, I am NOT my book. You can like me and think my book works better as a doorstop than reading material, just as you can like me and hate my cooking. The truth is we don’t love everything our friends love, and we don’t enjoy everything our friends do. I happen to have a friend (who shall, for obvious reasons, remain nameless) who really can’t sing but seems to be under the impression that she can. I love her to pieces. I don’t think the fact that I mentally acknowledge that she has no musical ability makes me a bad friend.
If you don’t like my book it is not an act of disloyalty. More explicitly, I hereby give all my friends, relatives and readers of all sort permission to think my book is dull or even to vehemently dislike it without feeling guilty or uncomfortable. We can still be friends, have lunch, chat in car pool, whatever. I do, however, urge you to be polite about your dislike.
We are a culture that tends to speak its mind and then some. This is not always a good thing.
Unless I ask you, you don’t have to tell me what you though of my book (good or bad). If you feel you want to share your opinions, have at it. But, to the extent you have criticism to offer, please be polite on this topic just as you would be on other subjects. For example, I have never said to my singing-impaired friend, “You sound like a cat being strangled” (which is something I’ve thought, believe you me). I just try to avoid attending events where she will be singing and smile through an impromptu performance if I am witness to one. So, if you don’t like my book try saying “your novel really wasn’t
my cup of tea” or “I just couldn’t get into it.” Or offer a more specific criticism, but deliver it in a constructive manner. When you are through, I’ll say “I am sorry you didn’t enjoy it” (promise), and we will move on with our lives our friendship in tact.
See isn’t that a lot easier than avoiding me like the plague or deciding not to even try reading my book? After all, you might like it.
Critical Links:
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Don't Forget to Follow the Rest of the Tour:
Monday, February 27th
Review at Just One More Paragraph
Tuesday, February 28th
Author Interview & Giveaway at Passages to the Past
Wednesday, February 29th
Author Guest Post & Giveaway at Just One More Paragraph
Friday, March 2nd
Review at A Bookish Affair
Monday, March 5th
Review & Giveaway at Bippity Boppity Book
Tuesday, March 6th
Review at Unabridged Chick
Wednesday, March 7th
Author Guest Post at A Bookish Affair
Thursday, March 8th
Review at Debbie's Book Bag
Friday, March 9th
Monday, March 12th
Review at Ageless Pages Reviews
Tuesday, March 13th
Review & Giveaway at The Owl Bookmark Blog
Wednesday, March 14th
Friday, March 16th
Monday, March 19th
Author Guest Post at The Owl Bookmark Blog
Tuesday, March 20th
Wednesday, March 21st
Friday, March 23rd
Author Interview at Ageless Pages Reviews
Monday, March 26th
Wednesday, March 28th
Review at Broken Teepee
Thursday, March 29th
Review at Books, Belles and Beaux
Friday, March 30th
Monday, April 2nd
Wednesday, April 4th
Amen!!!
ReplyDeleteSophie, I have not read your book, though I will now go scope it out on Amazon, but I have to tell you, I could not agree more with your post.
Without fail, it always makes me a tad uncomfortable when someone tells me they just bought my book or they plan to read my book. My books are not for everyone--it takes a special breed to love them, to be honest. But I've always struggled to communicate this, so thanks for putting this out there. Not only does it mirror my thoughts exactly, the acknowledgement that not everyone will like your book, but you can all still be friends, is the right attitude!
Congrats on the recent release and I wish you all the success in the world!
Rose
I'm not an author but I can only imagine the trepidation you feel when someone picks up your book after all of the work that you put into it!!!
DeleteIt's wonderful to get that out there! I know some writers won't even review published works (whether they know the author or not) because what if they didn't like it? Or didn't hate it, but wasn't as impressed as everyone else? Often times I think we lose sight of the fact that everyone is entitled to their opinion, that doesn't make them a terrible person (their deliver of said opinion might ;) )
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, thanks & congrats on the book-baby!
Opinions can be so hard to take when it's something that you've poured your life's blood into!
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